I haven't blogged in what felt like forever. I've been working full time for the first time in the last few months, I finally found myself a "stable" 9-5 job 9 months after graduation... who would ever thought that it would take this long? Well, at least I didn't expect it to. Those 9 months were full of frustrations, disappointments and a kind of anger that I don't know how to put into words. It SUCKED.. totally. But you know what sucked more? It sucked when grace period was over; it sucked when I "had" to accept a full time job that didn't require a college education; it sucked that I gave in to reality, it sucked that I accepted a full time job not for a good salary, not for a personal interest, but simply because I could't live without an income any more....I felt ashamed, I felt like shit, I felt like hating on myself / the situation I was in / my inability to find something that I at least have some degree of interest in... It sucks, but people around me encouraged me by saying that I am there for the experience, as if that makes it okay? HELL NO, I cannot begin to express or do I think I should begin to express the kind of stress I put myself under&through for the last few months... I truly hated it, I kept thinking about what if I had found something that was a bit creative? that was a bit artsy? that was a bit more of my kind of vibe??? How different my "professional" life would have been otherwise? Whether it be wishful thinking or not, I am desperate to leave my current "job" situation to find something that I can truly call a career.
You probably have been wondering all along what my "job" is? I work as an administrator at a company that assist patients to get social security benefits. I mean, this company and most of the people who work there have so much heart at doing what they do.. but well, with me being the exception. I do not particularly dislike the company nor the people that work with, but I just can't seem to cross that hurtle of truly accepting (nor do I want to accept) it is what it is. I can bullshit on and on about why it is not pleasurable for me to work there, but I do want to shed some lights on what I have learned about myself from this experience.
A while back, I promised myself to allow as well as to give myself a chance to learn something new everyday. I've been striving to make that my daily goal until.... I completely forgot about it right? OH HOW SILLY, of course not. I believe that everyday, every minute that you are consciously living is a chance for us to learn something new, you need not to make a huge commitment to stress yourself over that process. I've learned quite a bit about myself in the past few months than I've ever have professionally - to be honest. Please allow me to list them as professionally as I can.
1. When you work a 9-5 job, 5 days a week, you learn to how to fake a genuine smilze to the people that you work with :)
2. You learn how to "act" professionally
3. You learn to force yourself to act professionally
4. Treat the higher management people as if they are your co-workers, too
5. it is O the KAY to eat lunch by yourself even when surrounded by co-workers who eat lunch together.
6. DO NOT take advice from your "professional" life tooooo personally.
7. Your personality is only as good as you make an effort to not ruin it when you work with people from all sorts of backgrounds.
8. Your opinions matter too, just make sure to deliver them in a non-offensive way, #1rule for realz.
9. DO NOT spend more than you actually make
10. Have fun, enjoy life as much as you can with a paycheck that isn't sufficient enough for you to live by yourself --
well, life is to be continued.
Next post, my trip to Oooooooo Canadaaaaaa~~~!!
I wish new graduates the best of luck,
yours truly,
alaina
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