life thoughts

Fri.☮July 12☮2013 ღ You know when you know.. for sure.

5:37 PMAlaina

Let me spill out a little something about myself , I don't know where to begin..

I used to be this girl who was suppppper shy, I guess not like shy - shy, but I was not the girl who look like she was friendly nor approachable. I don't why that was but I was this 'cool' girl that one of my friends (or all, idk) would describe, but once they get to know me, they find me to be a bit cra-cra and too much, I guess most people are like that? To conclude, I am not the type of person to say the first 'hi' if someone approach me, if that make sense :).

Never did I know how much 'that change' could change me or how much that change  would make me ME, the one I did not recognize before, that real me. I've always wanted to be..just me, but didn't know how and I was afraid. I guess the me before was just...not too me, so I was kinda lost, confused? dont be! so what was that change? I guess that change pretty much started after my trip back to China in '11. I can't exactly recall how it came to be, but I know it was then that I realize there's something deep inside me that I am passionate about, which I never, ever felt before. If it wasn't for this, maybe I would still be lost in that middle of the ocean ( which has long been my status)...struggling..

I've always been eau-so super self-conscious about my look..you know, insecurities. I mean, I have slowly moved on from that stage where I cared way too much of how others look at me, the way they think about me, maybe they don't notice even me at all, lol, I was just... -self conscious- that's about it. All those negative thoughts, I say, let them go. The one thing that allowed me to just be me is discovering what I love, what I am really interested in, and that is....style/ fashion. Dont get me wrong, I understand fashion is subjective and people tend to be very judgmental about it, but I don't mean the 'looks'. Anyway, I felt in love because knowing my style and knowing how I want to be presented totally changed me, because I no longer cared how people look at me so I can definitely dress to my liking, just the way I want. AND that, is also the reason that I moved out of my 'comfort zone' and started this blog and YouTube, basically just sharing with whoever. Yeah, people can judge, point out my flaws, all that physical things on the outside, but deep inside, I know I am still me.

                                                                                                                                       Sharing Pics soon,
ღAlaina
   


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