YOOOOOOO long time no write!! I miss writing blog posts so much you have no idea!
Okay, confession first - I just pulled my guts together and watched my singing performance for a cultural show I did last year in college ---- OH BOY did I embarrassed myself, OH MY JESUS, I could have peed myself watching that if my bladder was any full...
Okay, but let's put that aside for as long as possible now.. I assume that it will be something fun to look back to..
Okay, confession first - I just pulled my guts together and watched my singing performance for a cultural show I did last year in college ---- OH BOY did I embarrassed myself, OH MY JESUS, I could have peed myself watching that if my bladder was any full...
Okay, but let's put that aside for as long as possible now.. I assume that it will be something fun to look back to..
SOOOO sorry, a lot has happened since my last post, I will be sure to update real soon.
As for now, I am trying to prepare for a job interview for tomorrow morning. As you may've guessed, I am super duper anxious right now, I am for sure feeling it. And this could only mean one thing- I am serious about this. I am wishing myself and I the best of luck tomorrow, GOOOD Night! I gotta catch up !!
As for now, I am trying to prepare for a job interview for tomorrow morning. As you may've guessed, I am super duper anxious right now, I am for sure feeling it. And this could only mean one thing- I am serious about this. I am wishing myself and I the best of luck tomorrow, GOOOD Night! I gotta catch up !!
Umm.. well, I re-visited my last post of which I wrote in the whee hours on a Saturday morning, it came out quite...bitchy, seriously. Gosh, I've always been known as grumpy in the mornings but never thought I could be so negative and bitchy, I guess I am on a "new high" now?
Today's topic begins with I'VE HAD A FAIR SHARE OF...heartbreaks? Why am I talking about "heartbreaks" when in reality, I've never been in a relationship before? <------- This could be one of the most honest truths that I am putting out there, you got to remember this date - JUNE 28 2016- this 25 year-old woman who's writing this post have NEVER been in a relationship.
What happened, you may be wondering? What happened in my teen years....my early adult years? Ohhh boy, I am just as curious to know as you are, if I could go back in time, I would have asked my younger self the same old question that I've been asking my growing up self for years.. and years. And the answer? - life happens.
I often fantasize about the wonderful things that I could have experienced with someone had I been in a relationship. There is no doubt that there are things people tend to do more of when they are in a relationship - eating out more, watching more movies, adventuring to more places.. etc (like I would know..haha)
I have always been a shy and quite introvert, and on top of that, I had a really bad self-image growing up. I felt alone, I felt like I was everything that everyone else was not. First, I was very insecure about my acne-exploded face, then it was my body. (I guess everyone goes through these stages of doubt and insecurity in life, but mine just happened to be on the more extreme end) I've lived with acne for more than half of my life now, living with acne-prone skin doesn't get less time consuming, the pain doesn't get less severe, and the treatment only takes longer. However, I've learned to put a brighter perspective on this both external & internal struggle, I've learned to suppress the insecurity I get from not having a flawless face, I've accepted the fact that I am HUMAN after all.
The same goes with my struggle with body-image. I am virtually FLAT- you don't need a Samsung virtual reality headset to see this, TRUUSt me. It's pretty obvious when I don't try to hide this insecurity of mine, of which I am doing less and less nowadays. You can say that I've learned to "turn an blind eye" on how people might judge me, think of me. The truth is, people judge anything - good or bad, even when you are showing the you that nature has created. So let them be, let yourself be-- free.
Insecurities did undoubtedly killed a lot of my confidence growing, which included the confidence I could have used to confess to my crush/es. I might have missed out on that pure, innocent love of high schoolers. But growing up insecured allowed me to be stronger, because it took that much more courage to stand up for myself, for my beliefs and values. Being able to stand strong and still in solitude isn't easy, but I believe I got to learn more about myself than I otherwise would have when in a relationship.
Whether you are in a relationship or not, you've got to learn how to take life easy, yet, meaningful and happy. :) We are all in this together, you are never alone.
Lastly, I want to leave this for you:
To be bloodily honest,
this is the most naked I've ever been with my insecurities.
Sharing vulnerability is a sign of strength, after all.
Best of luck - alaina (next post will be on my Canada trip for real)
I haven't blogged in what felt like forever. I've been working full time for the first time in the last few months, I finally found myself a "stable" 9-5 job 9 months after graduation... who would ever thought that it would take this long? Well, at least I didn't expect it to. Those 9 months were full of frustrations, disappointments and a kind of anger that I don't know how to put into words. It SUCKED.. totally. But you know what sucked more? It sucked when grace period was over; it sucked when I "had" to accept a full time job that didn't require a college education; it sucked that I gave in to reality, it sucked that I accepted a full time job not for a good salary, not for a personal interest, but simply because I could't live without an income any more....I felt ashamed, I felt like shit, I felt like hating on myself / the situation I was in / my inability to find something that I at least have some degree of interest in... It sucks, but people around me encouraged me by saying that I am there for the experience, as if that makes it okay? HELL NO, I cannot begin to express or do I think I should begin to express the kind of stress I put myself under&through for the last few months... I truly hated it, I kept thinking about what if I had found something that was a bit creative? that was a bit artsy? that was a bit more of my kind of vibe??? How different my "professional" life would have been otherwise? Whether it be wishful thinking or not, I am desperate to leave my current "job" situation to find something that I can truly call a career.
You probably have been wondering all along what my "job" is? I work as an administrator at a company that assist patients to get social security benefits. I mean, this company and most of the people who work there have so much heart at doing what they do.. but well, with me being the exception. I do not particularly dislike the company nor the people that work with, but I just can't seem to cross that hurtle of truly accepting (nor do I want to accept) it is what it is. I can bullshit on and on about why it is not pleasurable for me to work there, but I do want to shed some lights on what I have learned about myself from this experience.
A while back, I promised myself to allow as well as to give myself a chance to learn something new everyday. I've been striving to make that my daily goal until.... I completely forgot about it right? OH HOW SILLY, of course not. I believe that everyday, every minute that you are consciously living is a chance for us to learn something new, you need not to make a huge commitment to stress yourself over that process. I've learned quite a bit about myself in the past few months than I've ever have professionally - to be honest. Please allow me to list them as professionally as I can.
1. When you work a 9-5 job, 5 days a week, you learn to how to fake a genuine smilze to the people that you work with :)
2. You learn how to "act" professionally
3. You learn to force yourself to act professionally
4. Treat the higher management people as if they are your co-workers, too
5. it is O the KAY to eat lunch by yourself even when surrounded by co-workers who eat lunch together.
6. DO NOT take advice from your "professional" life tooooo personally.
7. Your personality is only as good as you make an effort to not ruin it when you work with people from all sorts of backgrounds.
8. Your opinions matter too, just make sure to deliver them in a non-offensive way, #1rule for realz.
9. DO NOT spend more than you actually make
10. Have fun, enjoy life as much as you can with a paycheck that isn't sufficient enough for you to live by yourself --
well, life is to be continued.
Next post, my trip to Oooooooo Canadaaaaaa~~~!!
I wish new graduates the best of luck,
yours truly,
alaina
Just want to ANNOUNCE, yaaaAAAAAAas, by ANNOUNCE, I MEAN it is some serious shet okay? :) ......... that I will be back soon. Where has time gone?? The last post I wrote was on New Year's, OH MY!!! Can't and don't want to believe that (almost) half a year has gone by already?! CRAZY, totally mind-boggling .....
First of ALL, HAPPY FREAKING NEW YEAR!
IT IS 2016 in case you didn't know (LOL) bad joke I know!
SO WHAT HAS BEEN UP WITH ME? Haven't written in so long and my English might or might not have gone downhill..
I've been working temporarily on a "full time" schedule in the last month, so I've really been putting aside everything else that I love to do, arghhh. I really can't multi-task, why is multi-taking praised by soo many people. I get that it appears to be more cost-efficient to have one person wearing many hats, or doing more than one person's workload, and since I ain't the boss, sometimes their demand is my command :/. The idea of a 9 to 5 job still stresses me out, but will have to do what's been long overdue. I need my probation period to start NOW really. New Year, New job, and a good one :)!
I have so many things in my mind and pictures on my camera that I want to share. From food, to skincare, to fashion, can't wait to share them in future blog posts. (I may or may not have gone a little wild at end of the year shopping..oooops.]\\\)
Please stay tuned!
Again, HAPPY, HAPPY, HAPPIEST NEW YEAR to you!
May you and I stick to our New Year's revolutions.
All the very best,
Alaina
迷惘， 是一个人生在什么时候都用得上的词。。。
我。好。迷惘
我。好。迷惘
Has this world gone mad.. what's with all these heartbreaking stories lately.
It is not fair. NO ONE deserves this.
Praying for the people of Paris, for all who are affected by this insanity.
I haven't post a blog in quite a while, I am sorry! I've been very busy trying to land my first REAL job out of college and I tried to use my time wisely to prepare for interviews.. Out of all the interviews I had last month, I currently have two companies in mind that I would love to work with, so fingers-crossed for me!
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Now that I think about it, everything seems to fall in place and made sense with the ways I like to approach things. I've always been the type of person who love to maximize my resources and be as efficient as much as I can with whatever that I do, sounds confusing? (and you wonder why I haven't figured this out all those times..eh?)
Anyhow, what I am trying to say is how can we maximize our closet when everything seems to go out of style in no time with fast fashion nowadays? I am guilty of shopping at fast fashion stores and often spend the majority of my work-study paycheck on clothes, I mean-I love fashion. I felt guilty not because of how much I spent on clothes, which wasn't a lot considering how affordable "trendy" and in style pieces are these days. I felt guilty because I chose to look at the darker side of the fashion industry and found out the behind the scenes of where and how these super affordable and trendy clothes are made. And the reality of it is something that I could not have imagined, I didn't want to believe that I was supporting unethical business practices. But sadly, it is a reality that not many consumers are aware of when they go shopping. Ever since then, I've become a more conscious consumer trying my best to support responsible businesses. As consumers, it's up to us to make the right choices; it's up to us to support the right business practices; it's up to us to demand changes from big businesses so that we can be the changes that we want to see :)
On that note, I like to buy versatile pieces, or pieces that I can have fun mixing and matching with.
Here's how I styled this one sweater/jumper in 3 ways!
Check out where everything's here:
life is great!
Alaina
While I was never a lipstick/gloss kind of person, I love fall enough to put some fall colors, not just on my clothes, but also on my lips. Fall and spring are my favorite seasons, both seasons signify change - change in colors, in the weather, in the mood, and in fashion, are overall one of the most beautiful wonders in the world.
Since lipgloss/stick/oils are not my thing, I went all out with matt lipsticks from Wet'nWild.
All of them are pretty colors, depending on your skin tone and preference, Wet' n Wild has a wide range of colors for you to choose from. My personal favorites are Bare It All and Sugar Plum Fairy, they are just soo fall!! Quality wise, for only $1.50 each, their color payoffs are great. They do dry out my lips quite a bit if I wear them for an extended period of time, but otherwise work great on top of a moisturizing lip balm.
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| Sugar Plum Fairy |
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| Bare It All |
All of them are pretty colors, depending on your skin tone and preference, Wet' n Wild has a wide range of colors for you to choose from. My personal favorites are Bare It All and Sugar Plum Fairy, they are just soo fall!! Quality wise, for only $1.50 each, their color payoffs are great. They do dry out my lips quite a bit if I wear them for an extended period of time, but otherwise work great on top of a moisturizing lip balm.
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| Medium to Full Coverage if you don't have bad blemishes to cover up. Many people rave about this foundation being one of the best drugstore foundations in the market, so I decided to give it a try. I am sad that I am disappointed at it. Generally speaking, I never liked full face makeup because I don't like to cover my whole face with a layer of stuff. It feels unnatural and heavy for me, especially since I have oily skin. This is not a long lasting foundation, and even though it does look quite natural once you put it on, the sunscreen in it tend to accentuate the flaky skin around my breakouts.....ew. It's still very good for its price though, just not for my skin type :/ If you fancy, here's the video version
All the best,
Alaina
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Another video is up!
My style is not much of the Taylor Swift style. However, I decided to base this video off of her Wildest Dreams video, because the cause this video supports holds a a very important message that we should at least be aware of. Wild animals and their habitats are slowly dying off and disappearing because we, as the caretakers of our earth, have been neglecting the health of our earth for too long. I love that 100% of the proceeds from the Wildest Dreams MV is going to be donated to support wild animal conservation.
My style is not much of the Taylor Swift style. However, I decided to base this video off of her Wildest Dreams video, because the cause this video supports holds a a very important message that we should at least be aware of. Wild animals and their habitats are slowly dying off and disappearing because we, as the caretakers of our earth, have been neglecting the health of our earth for too long. I love that 100% of the proceeds from the Wildest Dreams MV is going to be donated to support wild animal conservation.
The very least that everyone should be doing is to reduce waste, recycle, and reuse.
Here's the MV
With Love,
Alaina
Alaina
for I am quite lost right now.
I am really into fashion, it’s almost an obsession. Anything I do on my (very) free time is almost always fashion related, from watching Youtube videos on how to style fashion lookbooks, to stalking fashion bloggers, to double tapping on Instagram OOTD’s, I’ve done it all and will continue to do. There’s something about this form of art expression that intrigues me a lot, by a lot, I mean >a lot. Call it expression, call it personality, call it finding confidence, fashion plays a big part in my life. For as long as I can remember, I was never a confident type of person. There was always something that didn’t feel right for me, I was simply living the routine life that I was told to live because I was passion-less. I knew nothing outside of the subjects I was taught in school, and I had zero interest in any of those subjects. School was limiting and it felt like a bunch of chores that I needed to get done so that I could ultimately get that college degree. By the end of high school, I was still asking the same old questions, “what do I major in? What do I want to do?”.
For the longest time, I hated shopping because I felt so insecured with my body that nothing seem to fit right on me. Personal style did not exist in my world. Little did I knew though, college was the time when a lot of things started changing, and my style was a big part of it. I started watching clothesencouters on Youtube and Jen really inspired me to explore my options and style. Then slowly and surely, I gained more confidence in the clothes that I wear because my mindset was changed. I realized that I was never going to look the same way as somebody else who wears the same outfit. We are all different, our body types are different, our preferences of styles are different, the way we look at ourselves is different, the way we want to be perceived is different, or for some, non-existent. What look good on others should not make you feel less capable of you looking at your best, if that make sense. And so it is through this journey of figuring out my personal style that I learned so much about myself, about what I love, and it has totally changed the way I look at fashion.
Oh man, college was such an eye-opening experience for me. You meet people from all walks of life and when you are surrounded by people who actually have goals, and truly care to make changes in this world, there’s always positive energy surrounding you that you just can’t resist. Sure we all have different goals and passions for life, but what we all have in common is, to make this world a better, and lovelier place. And I care for all living species alike.
Live it up to your aspirations, dreams and all that.
Today is the youngest you'll ever be,
Alaina
Check Out my New Video!
Happy FALL,
Alaina
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| Top - Long Muscle Tank from H&M |
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| Top - Long Sleeve Turtle Neck from JCrew |
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| Necklace - Forever21 |
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| Black Wedges - Nordstorm Rack by Cole Haan (My most expensive pair of shoes as to date..)
Happy FALL,
Alaina
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When you get hit down hard, real hard, remember that you have more than enough strength to get back up. Back to when I was a sophomore in college, I applied to this E-retail fashion company - the only interaction I had with them was no more than a simple phone screening. Okay FINE, I moved on from that rejection. To chase after my "ideal" job whatever, I applied again after college, which is just a few weeks ago, not too long ago or anything. This time around though, I applied for two different positions only because I did not hear back from the first position in weeks. So I thought I would give myself another chance..WRONG. AINT nobody else giving me a chance, I just found that I got rejected by the HR for both of the positions, literally two days after the first rejection. LORD has mercy on me PLEASE. Maybe it's a way of telling me that it's not meant to be. NOPE
Let's MOVE on, moving on...
Alaina
I was lost because I didn't have the courage to choose, I didn't have the courage to open new doors. I was limiting myself, I was holding back my beliefs, my values. And when there's something that you feel so strongly about, listen to your heart and it will lead you to where you're exactly meant to be. A place where you would be happily living the meaningful and impactful life.
"If you're ever given the choice between a fancy, high paying job at a company run by people with questionable motives - or a less prestigious job at a company doing good work in the world--choose the second option. You'll always regret it if you don't. You'll never regret it if you do".
"If you're ever given the choice between a fancy, high paying job at a company run by people with questionable motives - or a less prestigious job at a company doing good work in the world--choose the second option. You'll always regret it if you don't. You'll never regret it if you do".
Best of luck to all of us in pursuing our life goals,
Alaina ;)
Check out the video for outfit details! (It was completely by accident that it came out to be a monochrome theme)
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| (Faux) Leather Jacket is a must-have of mine for the fall! |
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| Love the dress and jacket combo. |
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| For the longest time, I had a hard time figuring out how to style this patterned skirt hahah. I think this combo works quite well? hm? |
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| I love this pair of shorts, I wore them so much of the summer as well. |
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| This is what I call the perfect rainy day outfit. Simply substitute the boots for your favorite pair of rain boots. I love how cute this outfit come out. |
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| It has always been a pet peeve of mine seeing people wear a long dress with their boots, I never thought they could work well together. (I am not a "stylist" by any means, but I do apologize for (maybe) over judgmental- I admit it). |
Always be the positive version of you,
| Alaina |
